Eating badly… and not eating at all…

Life has been a rollercoaster these past two days. Our reason for visiting family in Phoenix is my husband’s grandmother, who has reached the end of a her life… 95 years of it. I find myself looking for lots of peace and quiet, as I’m watching the family cope with the fact that this rock, this strong woman who has been holding the family together for so long, will soon be gone.

She has stopped eating. She’ll have a cracker and a bite of jello. But her decision not to eat is firm. And she won’t discuss this fact with anyone. My father-in-law doesn’t understand this attitude. He has made it clear, that only God can make the decision, when she goes. How dare she make the decision for him? Well, the woman is still an adult… She still has her own free will… and while her physical strength is quickly fading, she can still decide for herself what she wants and doesn’t want to do. She chose not to eat. Her message to the world is loud and clear. I am done… let me go.

In the meantime, the rest of us, drown our own sorrow in wine… We eat foods, that sit heavily in our stomachs. My reaction to these foods is more severe. I’m retaining water, like I did back in Germany. My fingers are swelling up, and my rings don’t fit. More and more I am becoming aware of how we (the human race) have forgotten how to nourish ourselves. We stuff our faces with food like substances. None of the members of this extended family are healthy, nor do they look healthy. And still, the paleo girl is considered to be the oddball for eating “this strange diet”.

It’s Tuesday. We’re leaving Thursday night. I’ve made the decision (once again) to get clean. Food is my life line. I shall treat my body well. You should, too.

One thought on “Eating badly… and not eating at all…”

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